The BIG Diet (Or What Happens When You Deprive Yourself of Luscious Delights)--Week #9

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Brian seems a little distant this week. Maybe he’s still ill. He does look a bit pale. I hung around after the meeting, hoping to have that talk with him, but he said that his wife--a little twinge of jealousy here--was picking him up any minute. Something about his car being in the garage. Maybe I’m being a little bit too pushy.

Last night, I had the strangest dream. I was eating Pork Lo Mein out of a take-out carton, and Heidi, Aunt Sal’s dachshund, was sitting on my lap, looking up at me with those big brown eyes.

You’ve got to understand: she’s the world’s most stupid dog--she once ate a pound of peanut clusters and became so engorged that her sides bulged out like two saddle bags. For three days, she wandered around the house, puking and shitting on the floors, rugs, beds, and pillows. Even after that horrendous experience, this animal still eats anything and everything, and in any quantity.

But not in my dream.

In my dream, after I have my fill of Pork Lo Mein, I offer Heidi my leftovers, and she looks at me with those sad eyes and says, “I’m sorry, but it has too much fat.”

I finish it off myself.

I wonder what it all means? I don’t dare ask Shel.

Maybe Brian will know.


Source: “The Big Diet,” by Jennifer Semple Siegel, Are You EVER Going to Be Thin? (and other stories), 2004.

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© Jennifer Semple Siegel, 2004. This work may not be reprinted or reposted without permission from the author.


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