Showing posts with the label Aunt.Sexy

“Meet Your Pilot”: Ari Elpiloto’s Résumé (Aunt.Sexy Studies Her Pilot’s Résumé, Reads a Little Shakespeare, and Jots Down Some Notes)

  NASA, Photo acquired May 18, 2013 International Space Station __________________ O wherefore, Nature, didst thou lions frame? Since lion vile hath here deflower’d my dear: Which is – no, no – which was the fairest dame That lived, that loved, that liked, that look’d with cheer. Come, tears, confound; Out, sword, and wound The pap of Pyramus; Ay, that left pap, Where heart doth hop: Thus die I, thus, thus, thus. Now am I dead, Now am I fled; My soul is in the sky: Tongue, lose thy light; Moon take thy flight: Now die, die, die, die, die. — Pyramus, Act V, Scene 1, A Mid Summer Night’s Dream , by William Shakespeare _____________________ The pilot’s submitted résumé reveals nothing remarkable: his education (degree from Embry Riddle Aeronautical University) and experience (10,000 miles, 1,650 on Boeing 777) seem impeccable. However, his work record contains an eighteen-month gap, which needs to be explained during the upcoming “Mee

Dear Aunt.Sexy...

Dear Aunt.Sexy ______________ When we ask for advice, we are usually looking for an accomplice. — Saul Bellow ______________________ Need advice? Aunt.Sexy is here! Shoot your question here: Dear [at] Aunt.Sexy Or if you are still stuck on .com: Dear [at] About Aunt.Sexy

About Aunt.Sexy...

Aunt.Sexy ____________ We give advice by the bucket, but take it by the grain. – Tom Stoppard _____________________ Aunt.Sexy, lovelorn columnist extraordinaire, offers her two cents about matters of the heart, although she expands her words of wisdom beyond mere romantic matters. Aunt.Sexy takes the agony out of “Agony Aunt” and injects sexy, flirty, and slightly racy fun into the advice biz – not your parents’ syndicated newspaper “Tsk, Tsk” columnist. In her approach to advice, she slants slightly risqué, but never profane or triple X – her suggestions may seem shocking to some, tame to others, which pretty much places her point of reference in media res , perhaps veering slightly left, but always with good humor and a touch of snark. She offers advice to the living, the dead, the real, and the downright fictional. For what it’s worth. For more information about receiving advice from Aunt.Sexy

Dear Aunt.Sexy, I Need Urgent Advice About My Future...

Allegorie der Musik Lorenzo Lippi, 1606-1665 Wikipedia ___________________  Dear Aunt.Sexy (I blush at such a flagrant use of this s**y word and am puzzled by that strange dot between the words in this salutation), I need urgent advice about my future. I am a 17th century composer of serious musical scores, a young lady on the cusp of breaking out into a major musical career. I should very much like to continue on this path, but Father says I must marry soon, as I am 16, soon to be considered unmarriageable. As each day passes without a young man calling, Father grows more desperate for my future. My problem: I do not wish to marry – ever ! I merely want to remain in my room, writing scores, and occasionally attending concerts with my family. However, Father says I must find a well-off husband to support me. I have already sold several of my scores to famous musical houses, but under a male pseudonym, so I know that I would be able to support myself as a spin

“Ask Bug” is Now Aunt.Sexy!

Aunt.Sexy _____________ If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. —Maya Angelou For more information: About Aunt.Sexy Dear Aunt.Sexy Thank you!

Memoir Madness: Driven to Involuntary Commitment